Nearly three weeks ago,
there was a reported suicide in Orem at Timpanogos High School. After hearing
about it, and while pondering the fact that this was the school I attended
throughout my teenage years, the same school at which I had 5 fellow classmates
commit suicide, I received a call from my father. This student turned out to be
the younger brother of one of my good friends. He was from my home stake as
well. I suddenly tried to flash back at what could have caused this, and tried
to remember experiences where I had been around him and wondered if I had
missed something. Had he been sending signals that someone should have picked
up on? The night before his suicide, his brother (my friend), had been engaged
to a great girl and the whole family seemed so happy, and to see that entire
family go from one hundred to zero in a matter of hours was terribly sad. The
more I learned about this case of suicide, the more I was able to read into the
possible circumstances surrounding his suicide. When given this assignment, I
tried to relate the circumstances of his suicide to those in ancient Greece and
was able to make a few comparisons. Suicides in both eras consisted of people
who had not, or thought they had not, met the expectations others had placed
upon them. The people involved were placed into high pressure societal
situations, often which were too much for them to face. A main difference that
I read into the two situations is the role that social media plays into today’s
suicides, when there was no social media in ancient Greece. I believe that this
shows us that society sometimes sets unrealistic expectations for other people
before setting personal expectations, and when these expectations go unmet by
other people, they are considered to be failures.
In Sophocles’ play Ajax, Ajax is considered the second
greatest hero in all of Greece, behind Achilles. When Achilles dies, Ajax feels
that he deserves the armor of Achilles. After all, he considers himself to be
the greatest warrior now that Achilles is gone. When Odysseus receives
Achilles’ armor however, it ruins Ajax. He goes mad, considering himself to be
a complete failure. He clearly believes that he has not lived up to what others
expected him to be, and this drives him mad. He states, “It is dishonourable
for any man to crave a lengthy life, once he discovers the troubles he is in
will never change. What joy is there for him when every day just follows on
another, pulling him away or pushing him toward death?” (Sophocles Ajax). Eventually,
this results in his suicide. In his opinion, committing suicide is the only way
to preserve his status as a hero and to avoid bringing shame and dishonor to
his family (Essential Homer). The suicide in Orem recently draws some
similarities. This student was having a difficult time with his standing in the
church, but was pushed by family to continue going. The more he went, however, the
less comfortable he felt. Recently at school, he had been denied a spot that he
previously had on the school’s drama team. Combined events sent his world
crashing down, eventually to the point where he felt that the only way to
preserve his life was by ending it. To avoid speculation, it is reasonable to
assume that he felt he hadn’t lived up to what other people wanted him to
become. He hadn’t met the expectations personally set for him.
Similarly, the society we have formed today is very high
pressure. There is high pressure to have a lot of friends, regardless of the
quality of those friends. There is high pressure to receive a quality education
to provide for a household. There is high pressure to be popular and depict a
perfect life on social media, forcing others to believe that they are less than
you are.. A recent study from Common Sense Media showed that teens spend an
average of 6.5 hours on their phones in a day. It would be difficult to
maintain a realistic view of the world while on a phone for nearly half the
waking time of a day (NBC News). The pressure in our society is so high that it
seems life isn’t even worth living if you don’t stand up to those levels of
pressure. The same stood for ancient Greece. There was such high pressure for
men to be successful, honored warriors. When they lost their shields in battle,
it was considered one of the highest offenses, and led to dishonor for life. If
a man lost his shield, he may as well never come home. In fact, Spartan women told
their husbands they would either come home “with their shield or on it.” When a
Greek man could not live up to the expectations set upon him, he was shunned by
the community around him. This led to many suicides, seen as a life without
honor was a life not worth living. The women had such high pressure to have a
good family line with the men they married. If their husband died in battle, or
they were left abandoned, they were sometimes considered useless, which led to
the suicides of many women (Diotima). One main difference between then and now
is the role social media plays in modern day suicides. Today it is far easier
to look around and see everyone else living perfect lives because of the way
people depict themselves online and on social media. I personally have often
looked at the lives of my followers and thought, ‘My life isn’t nearly as good
as theirs.’ According to the same study from Common Sense Media, such thoughts
and time spent on social media promote development of poor communication
skills, and poor coping skills. Nobody wants to show the problems they are
having in front of such a large group of people like the entire internet,
although everyone occasionally deals with problems and disappointments. It is beginning
to become easier for people to determine that their lives are not worth living,
when it is important that we recognize that each human life has a place in our
community.
In short, the rate of suicides in our community, and
comparing them to those of the ancient Greece community show us that we have a
long way to go when it comes to shaping a society that people thoroughly enjoy
living in. I find it important for us to create a society where everyone
decides what they should be and what they expect of themselves. It’s time to
incorporate a society where we focus on our own personal expectations rather
than expecting more out of everyone around us. Suicide is just as much a
problem today, if not more, as it was in ancient Greece, and above outlined are
clearly several steps that can be taken to improve the quality of life we offer
in our communities. We can reduce pressure on the individual and place
responsibility on the community to look out for one another. We can put more of
our real personal lives out on social media, including the hard times and the
bad things, rather than just the good things that happen to us. As we do this,
we will notice that suicides will go down as each person can live with honor
without feeling like a failure compared to the people around them.
